FEAR! Fear For Your Safety!

AKA: Cream Team, Team Poutine, Seminal References…

They’ve taken many names, they’ve taken many Thursday nights at La Merde. They’ll take many more. Coming together from disparate source, the core of FEAR! found themselves thrown together in a web-based trivia environment. In short order, the cream quickly rose to the top of this digi-pool of milky goodness. Though the intertubes did present fair trivia challenges (though, far too fucking many Dark Tower questions), something was missing. The founders of FEAR! had heard the Siren Song of ShanRock and could not resist the lure of trivia in the flesh. They quickly realized, though, that this was a different brand of trivia. Their initial outings left them unsatisfied…largely because they lost. But also, they realized that being adjunct members of an established team failed to sate the growing hunger for trivia dominance and the need to control their own destiny. They set about convincing their erstwhile babysitter, and arguably dominant online trivia cohort to join them at the lovely La Merde. Leaving his ever-expanding family behind on Thursday nights was no easy feat…but the lure of trivial delights in the fleshly realm was too tantalizing to pass on. It proved to be the masterstroke. The Three set out to see whether it was to be or not to be. It was the former.

On September the Fourth, 2008, our heroes planted their flag in Planet ShanRock and established that there was indeed a new game in town. Or, at least, under the Morrison Bridge. Thus far they have collected an impressive run of back-to-back victories (tentatively entitled The Penta-holy-fuck-did-they-really-win-5-in-a-row??*** . . . which, fuckin-A right, they did!). Next, they are firmly setting their sights on the Clash of the Trivia Titan Tournament of Champions. This last fact is of note as the team is driven by an insatiable need to redeem themselves and cleanse their palate of the bitterness from the Epic Fail.

The Epic Fail was the tragic end result of their participation in the Barfly Trivia Back-to-School Bus Tour in the fall of ’08. Somewhere along the 7th bar of the night, things started getting hairy. Mass consumption wasn’t impacting their lead so much as their unity. Let us just say that flask wasn’t needed, cooler heads should have prevailed and…well shit, they blew up. Hard. Note to the newbies for next year: pace yerselves and DON’T LOSE THE FUCKING SHEET!

The team recently danced close to the edge of another memorable meltdown in the midst of
a grueling 4-round, sudden death play off with the esteemed veterans The Whole Fist. Fortunately they were able to move past the infighting, the second guessing, the hurling of writing implements and the insulting of the family members to claim victory (and a portrait in the Wordstock throne) with the answer of “I, Claudius.” Surely there is poetic justice in there somewhere.

The collected trivial bidness within the team’s memories covers a depth most staggering. After they’ve laid waste to the competition and firmly established themselves as “seriously hot trivia shit,” they can be found exulting in victory at 12th & Hawthorne. The prize of savory poutine, masterfully crafted and lovingly ladled out from The Good Mr. Mike, Portland’s Potato Champion, is mandatory. On occasion they have had to drown their memories of defeat in a wash of gravy & curds, but usually that’s the victory dish. Dig?