Ladies and gentlemen, here are your champions for the 2009 Clash of the Trivia Titans! It was a wonderful event, with many a team taking home a trophy and prize. Thank you so much for coming out to The Spare Room to make this year’s trivia tournament one of the greatest days in my “trivia career” thus far! I loved doing this at The Spare Room, and they loved having us, so this is now my unofficial “9th venue,” for large special events (coming soon . . . the Queers vs. Breeders Trivia Showdown!). First, I will give you the results of the survey, in which you voted for your ShanRock’s Triviology favorites of the year. Then, we’ll move along to the trivia champions. At the bottom of the page, I have included some of your comments about your favorite moments in Triviology this year. Enjoy!

FAVORITE VENUE: This category was incredibly close this year, folks! I know it’s hard to pick which is the greatest place to play ShanRock’s Triviology since all 8 of my venues are so rad; indeed, the day of the tournament, it was a tie between La Merde & Sewickly’s. We did an in-house vote to determine your favorite venue, and that bar is Sewickly’s!!!

Indeed, there are many unique offerings at this particular venue (home venue of Yankee Go Home, as pictured above) – no other Triviology bar offers cash prizes OR choice of drink specials to the weekly champions. Many thanks to Kelly and the Sewickly’s crew for making this such a great place!

BEST BARTENDER: Melissa of La Merde!!! It truly is remarkable how quickly she serves up finely crafted cocktails to the trivia hordes that descend upon her all at once. She has quite the trophy case stocking up behind the bar, as she won last year, as well. Kudos, Melissa!

BEST TEAM PAGE: Anybody can have a team page, but who created the most entertaining team page ever?

I Just Called To Say Fuck You!

Your Comments:
“I don’t get it, but I like it!”
“As I also enjoy dry humping, I pick ‘I Just Called To Say Fuck You’.”

BEST BRIDESMAIDS: This is the first year I’ve had this award, and it goes to that intrepid team who keeps on playing the trivia, whether they win or not (usually not, god bless ’em).

The Whole Fist!!!

BEST SHIT-TALKERS: This trophy goes to the team that dishes out the sickest burns to their foes. This year’s winners used a variety of media (including a team comic book posted on their team page!) to rub foe faces in the dirt all year long, and are also the first team besides the Fuck Facers to win this award! Congratulations to Willocalypse!!!

Your comments:
“Fucking Ford from Willocalypse (if he’s still a member!) – that bastard would shit talk his own team if they didn’t tell him to shut the hell up all the time.”

Dishonorable mentions:
“I Just Called To Say Fuck You are the rudest douchebags out there. Plus they have a MySpace. And it’s fun to say.”
“Not exactly a shit talker per se, maybe a shit whisperer. And that would be Nobody Fucks With The Jesus. Why does no one fuck with him? Because he too busy fucking with everyone else!”

FAVORITE FOE: Presumably, you all enjoy making the trivia with your teammates, but there are just some competitors that make the game extra-fun, challenging, entertaining, what-have-you. This year, your Favorite Foes are: Fear! Fear, For Your Safety!

Isn’t it cute, seeing them try to look all mean and stuff? We all know how beloved you are, FF4YS – you’re not fooling anyone! Here’s what the people had to say . . .

Your comments:
“FFFYS, because that guy with the glasses sits in front of a laptop for an hour before each game. If it’s meant to psych me out, it works. Also, they tend to stare us down when we’re doing better.”
“FFFYS. We used to win till these assholes came around.”
“FFFYS – they’re a tough team to beat, but they’re gracious winners and real nice folk, to boot.”

Honorable mentions:
“Fellatio Hornblower. Why? Because I respect and fear them. There are other teams I can respect for various sundry reasons, and other teams I fear because I’m afraid of everything, but only Fellatio Hornblower combines respect and fear into a delicious chocolate and peanut butter-like sandwich. A sandwich that I respect and fear.”
“The Genghis Khanspiracy. Why do I enjoy them? Shit! They bought us shots to try and get the edge! And, they are the freaking champs! Class acts (but we still beat them).”
“Willocalypse. It’s bitter-sweet. We used to just plain hate them, what with the ‘whhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuullllllllloooooooocccccccooooooolllllyyyyyypppppsssssse’ing and what have you. Now, can’t imagine life without them. Yeah, I can. It’s a lot quieter.”
“Willocalypse. When they win at The Hutch, they buy you drinks with their winnings. Which makes it hard to hate them.”

MOST BITCHIN’ COSTUMES: This is the only category voted upon in-house. Teams are challenged to put together costumes and/or presentations as simple or as elaborate as they choose. Needless to say, the more elaborate display usually get the most applause, and thusly wins the challenge. Last year’s champions in this category, It’s Britney Bitch!, cranked it up to eleven this year, and took the night once again!:

Ladies and gentlemen, the Nomi Malone Dance Academy:

Honorable mention to Willocalypse (whose performance was “streaked” by Dr. Spaceman):

And now, on to the trivia champions!!!

OLYMPIAN OPEN RUNNERS-UP: Bea Arthur’s Dick In A Box

OLYMPIAN OPEN CHAMPIONS (& Titan Wild Card Team): I Put My Wizard Hat On

TITAN INVITATIONAL – 3rd Place: I Just Called To Say Fuck You

TITAN INVITATIONAL – 2nd Place: Dana Plato’s Republic

TITAN INVITATIONAL CHAMPIONS: Dr. Spaceman!!!

FAVORITE MOMENTS:

“When the HawHide got really quite right before you asked a question, and someone kept on talkin’ pretty loudly about how they scored some weed!”

“There was this one girl with a really loud laugh, and she was doing a physical challenge. She farted, and that was kind of funny, but then she had to stop and run out of the bar because she pooped her pants.”

“We had tiebreaker after tiebreaker which failed to resolve the winner, so finally . . . the victor would be decided by Indian leg wrestling. I will never forget coming around the corner to face the 6’8″ titan that I would be wrestling against. He flipped me like a pancake, and not a big pancake. More like a dollar pancake.”

“That one time, when Kevin Costner actually showed up . . . and Shannon and him made out . . . and she said that it was the best 7 minutes of her life!”