The smoke has cleared, the dust has settled . . . and there is STILL a doctor in the house! Congratulations to Dr. Spaceman . . .

. . . for reigning supreme at the ultimate trivia tournament: The Clash of The Trivia Titans!! There were many champions on this night, but Dr. Spaceman was the king of the hill! Of their champion scarves, Virginia, the masked Spaceman, says this: “The scarf warms my neck AND my heart!”

I apologize for the belated nature of this week’s newsletter – I know you’ve been very curious about the results of the tournament. My goal was to have all of the videos and pictures posted and ready to go for you to peruse, but for pete’s sake, it’s Tuesday, and I’m still not done yet! I’ve posted lots of pictures on my MySpace page, and I will soon get around to Facebook too, and maybe even put up a whole page of COTT results on my website. If you took any pictures you’d be willing to share, please let me know, and I’ll post them, too. Next week’s newsletter will have the full results, along with some of your hilarious comments from the survey you guys took, but for now, taste the magic of . . .
Nomi Malone Dance Academy

Since we are indeed in the dawn of a brand new trivia season, allow me to make a humble suggestion to you. To get a fresh start for the new year, it may well behoove you to try to rack up some wins NOW, so that you can qualify early for next year’s tournament. That way, you can lollygag around while other teams sweat it out, trying to snag wins at the last minute while the competition is tough (this is the Nomi Malone Dance Academy method – it leaves time for dance rehearsal!). Your best chance of doing that is to attend the great BrentBird’s Triviology night, 9:00 at The Kenton Club in NoPo. And, to sweeten the pot, this Thursday, in addition to the regular prizes at this venue, Brent will award a ShanRock’s Triviology T-shirt to each member of the winning team! These T-shirts will not generally be offered as prizes, but for the good people at The Kenton Club, I will make an exception this week. If you’d like to buy one buy one of these beauties . . .

. . . they’ll run you $13 a pop, which is a fantastic deal for these supersoft, pre-shrunk, 100% combed cotton American Apparel goodies (boring old logoless ones would run you $17!). I’ve got male sizes in M, L & XL, and female cut sizes in M & XL (also, the female XL works great as a small male size – for serious!).

Finally, film fans, remember that this Sunday is The Academy Awards, and that I’ll be hosting about an hour of Oscar-themed trivia before we watch the ceremonies on the big screen! The quiz will start at about 3:30, and the Oscars are at 5:00. The winner gets an engraved trophy (The Peter O’Toole!) and a gift certificate to East Burn, the host venue, and I’ll also have a prize for the best Oscar themed costume OR red carpet outfit. I can’t wait to see you there! In fact, I’m going to go work on my costume . . . ShanRock OUT!

Here are the champions for the week of 2/9/09 – 2/12/09:

Monday @ 8:00
Hawthorne Hideaway
2221 SE Hawthorne
THE WHOLE SICK CREW

Tuesday @ 7:30
Sewickly’s
4901 SE Hawthorne
DANA PLATO’S REPUBLIC

Wednesday @ 8:00
Peter’s 19th Hole
5701 NE Fremont
RIDING SHOTGUN WITH BILLY JOEL

Wednesday @ 8:00
The Hutch
4606 NE Glisan
FRIENDS OF DEAN MARTINEZ

Thursday @ 9:00
La Merde
301 SE Morrison
FEAR! FEAR FOR YOUR SAFETY

Thursday @ 9:00
Kenton Club
2025 N. Kilpatrick
I’M THE LORD OF YOUR RING

Thanks so much for playing with me, everybody!

Your trivia jockey,

Shannon Donaldson
ShanRock’s Triviology: Willamette Week Best of Portland
www.shanrockstrivia.com
(503) 957 – 7806

“Materialism is a disease of the mind starved for ideas.” – Jacob Needleman

Two more days until THE event of the Trivia Season! This Sunday (Feb. 8th) at The Clash of The Trivia Titans, the paparazzi will be buzzing and snapping, spectators will be placing bets, and you Triviologists will be angling for the glory! In preparation, I imagine you teams memorizing the Guiness Book of World’s Records, watching the final season of The Facts of Life, and sewing those last few hundred sequins on your outfits for the Most Bitchin’ Costumes competition.

But somewhere in there, you must find time to vote (IF you haven’t already)! I need to find a home for my beautiful engraved trophies for Best Bartender, Favorite Foes, Best Shit-Talkers, etc., and only you can tell me who deserves them. Some of you kids are really campaigning up to the last minute, and in a variety of mediums – for example, Jill of Willocalypse offers some tart, yet helpful comments on my website. Almost every category is very close right now, so every vote will count! Do me a solid and take the short, 10 question survey. I could also use your input on naming my new friend, whom I have just hired to be the ShanRock’s Triviology logo:

If you suggest the name that the leprekey and I choose, you’ll get yourself a ShanRock’s Triviology T-shirt! The T-shirts will also be some of the prizes on hand for the trivia tournament – every member of both the Olympian Open and the Titan Invitational champion teams will score a T-shirt, and more will be on sale. There are a variety of other prizes for many different teams, including a silly donkey prize for the lowest scoring Titans. I’ve also made an adjustment to the chalice trophies, for it was a sad sight last year – the champion teams attempting to drink out of their freshly won gold cups, only to have the precious beer wasted, dripping out of the bottoms! Not this year, though – I have sealed them all up with wax, so your victory toasts will be drip-free!

I have some bad new for all of you Q-List celebrities out there: to maintain my position as a P-List celebrity, I can no longer be seen in public with you. My P-List status has just been solidified by my simultaneous appearance in Portland Mercury’s My What A Busy Week AND as a Willamette Week Headout pick – BAM!!! You may also want to come early to get a good seat. The Spare Room, on the corner of NE 42nd & Alberta Court, is conveniently located next to several TriMet bus lines – 10, 33, 72 & 75 are all within walking distance.

As a reminder of who your foes are, here are the 2009 Titans:

Dana Plato’s Republic

Dr. Spaceman

Fear! Fear For Your Safety

Fellatio Hornblower

Fuck Bill Sizemore

Genghis Kahan, Motherfucker!

I Just Called To Say Fuck You

Jimmy Hat Nation

Nobody Fucks With The Jesus

Rhinestone Crybabies

Willocalypse

Yankee Go Home

??????? (Olympian champion – insert your name here!!!)

And here is Sunday’s schedule:

5:00 REGISTRATION
Come early and grab a good table! Team size is 5 or less, and it costs $4 per person to play.

5:30 OLYMPIAN OPEN
Absolutely anybody is welcome to play. The winning team is the wild card seed who goes on to compete in The Titan Invitational. Titans may play UNofficially as a warm-up, but will win no prizes in this competition.

7:30 NON-COMPETITIVE AWARDS (aka “half-time show”!)
ShanRock hands out trophies and/or prizes for the Most Bitchin’ Costumes, Best Shit-Talkers, Best Bartender, Best Bridesmaids, Favorite Venue, Favorite Foes, etc. Everyone is welcome to participate in the Most Bitchin’ Costumes contest. Your presentation may be as simple as reading a team mission statement or origin story, OR as elaborate as the famously byzantine scene from “Cleopatra” which almost single-handedly destroyed the old Hollywood studio system.

8:00 TITAN INVITATIONAL
Teams play by “invitation” only, having qualified by being the winningest teams throughout the trivia year (10 wins or more, as listed in the Hall of Fame). Let me know if you think you’ve qualified, but we haven’t spoken of it yet. Olympians may play UNofficially just for fun, but will win no prizes in this competition (except for the wild card team, of course!).

10:00 FINAL AWARDS . . . and dance party?!?
Engraved trophies, ShanRock’s Triviology T-shirts, hand-knit Triviology champion scarves, a certificate for one free pub quiz at your home/office/bar, a variety of gift certificates, and more.

Each quiz will greatly resemble a standard night of Triviology, but a bit harder. Also, I will omit the Let’s Get Physical Challenge and the Whammy round. If you have any questions at all, please do not hesitate to call or Email me! I hope you’re as excited about this event as I am – it’s going to be the best trivia tournament ever!

Here are the champions for the week of 2/1/09 – 2/5/09:

Sunday @ 6:00
East Burn
1800 E. Burnside
TARDIS TEAM

Sunday @ 9:00
Ladd’s Inn
1204 SE Clay
FUCK PATRICK!

Monday @ 8:00
Hawthorne Hideaway
2221 SE Hawthorne
DOIN’ IT, DOIN’ IT, DOIN’ IT WILL – WILLOCALYPSE

Tuesday @ 7:30
Sewickly’s
4901 SE Hawthorne
PEN15 CLUB

Wednesday @ 8:00
The Hutch
4606 NE Glisan
DR. SPACEMAN

Wednesday @ 8:00
Peter’s 19th Hole
5701 NE Fremont
JACKIE’S BACK

Thursday @ 9:00
La Merde
301 SE Morrison
FEAR! FEAR FOR YOUR SAFETY

Thursday @ 9:00
Kenton Club
2025 N. Kilpatrick
BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW

Thanks so much for playing with me, everybody!

Your trivia jockey,

Shannon Donaldson
ShanRock’s Triviology: Willamette Week Best of Portland
www.shanrockstrivia.com
(503) 957 – 7806

“Materialism is a disease of the mind starved for ideas.” – Jacob Needleman